To the endless summer…

Six months ago I said goodbye to what had so quickly become my home, when I left the comfort and debauchery that is the small town of Isla Vista. And six months later, I sit on the same white bed in the same town I once left. Everything is still in the same place and everyone in the same routine. The only difference is that my friends and I have all moved to new houses in the tradition that comes along with aging as a fellow gaucho. Yet, I feel, I am, so different. I have changed.

I have been home for a little over three weeks now, with no real responsibilities going to dinners with friends. But even with all my free time, I dreaded writing this post. Maybe it took so long to get to because I refused to believe that my adventure had ended. That I had officially come back to real life and had to face the real challenges of school, friendships, and jobs. Kind of a scary thought when you have been living a completely different life for half a year. One of ease, fun, excitement, relaxation, and reflection. It was all so sudden. I was there, and now I am home. Two separate lifetimes.

So where do I even start? I guess from the beginning…

On our first day in Australia, Julia and I sat through our UCEAP orientation being convinced by Kaye and Francesca that it would be difficult, if not nearly impossible, to make Aussie friends. Basically, if you do, you should win an Olympic gold medal. To Julia and me, this was a challenge we were ready to accept. And to no surprise, only a few hours after orientation, we had met and befriended the entire Aussie surf camp staff out on the town. Not only did they give us free G&T’s all night, but also our first best Aussie guy friend, Angus. Mission accomplished. Where’s our medal?

Already, we were off to a great start. Welcome to Sydney.

As time flew by, Julia and I met more incredible people, saw the most beautiful places, had the best days, nights, mornings, and afternoons. But out of every new place, person, and experience I gained, Julia Landreth was by far the best one. Julia and I grew closer and more and more alike each day as we helped each other bake vegan tahini chocolate chip cookies, I went with her to yoga and pilates, and she went with me to scuba dive. Some even started calling us twins (hey Sophie). Together, we were our best and happiest selves, and we were unstoppable. Our motto soon became “no bad days,” which rang true to the end because we truly had zero bad days. But besides the things we did together, it’s what Julia taught me that I will cherish the most. For one, she taught me how to get over my bullshit and stop stressing about everything. For the first time in my life, I learned how to not worry about money or the future and to surrender to the universe. To accept what is, and to love myself no matter what. She taught me how to be even more social than I already am. And how to stand up for myself when others don’t. What a true and real friendship is and should be. And probably so many other lessons I had not fully learned yet, or lessons I just didn’t allow myself to accept or understand. Julia brought me countless laughs until I cried, the most outrageous inside jokes, and the best memories. I cannot even imagine a world where I lived abroad without Julia.

But on top of my new best friend, Sydney also brought me a handful of other incredible people along the way. From Alexis to Zoe, Andrew, our housemates, Big Boy Christal, Matty Chapman, Chaniel, all of the Sydney Swedish community and so many more, every single person came into my life at the most perfect moment. Not only did these people bring me joy and laughter, they also taught me a little bit of Swedish too (dodrinka @ kröklyan)!

A little into my time in Australia, my dad asked me in a joking-but-also-serious manner if I had found an Australian husband yet. To this I responded no, I am not even searching. Why focus on something that’s bound to end regardless? At first, it was sometimes difficult to put in the effort to truly connect with everyone, especially when most of our friends did not live within a one square mile radius as they do in Isla Vista. But I realized that although we can all be online friends forever, these physical human friendships are temporary and fleeting. So I put in the effort to get to know everyone around me, because in the end, studying abroad is about the friends you make and the experiences you have, rather than the actual studying. Now, even the random friends we met in hostels, on cruises, tours, dive boats, and in our urbanest apartment all hold a special place in my heart.

Overall, the last few months changed even the smallest parts of my life. Hell, I even weaned myself off of the constant feedback loop of not being able to sleep and taking melatonin then having to take more the next night. I learned how to take a break and relax by watching a movie, or a few, on a school night. A luxury I wouldn’t dare to dream during a regular quarter in Santa Barbara. I took time for myself. I learned how to be a little less serious and to live every single day as if I was exploring a new place. Everything excited me again. I learned how to stay out past midnight, kind of…thanks IV. I learned who my real friends were and how to act in important situations. I even started reading books for fun again and enjoying school since I wasn’t stressed about it anymore. I matured in a different way than I could have imagined. It’s as if these last few months were the breath of fresh air that I so desperately needed, filling my lungs up with the warmth of truly living.

I didn’t realize that I craved this break from real life until I got it, and it served as a healing, learning, and growing experience. And even though this adventure has now come to an end, I realize that the real journey is just beginning. There are so many more places I want to go, so many more people to meet, so many more experiences to have, and so much more freaking life to live! And I couldn’t be more excited for it.

When I was packing up my things to embark on my multiple-stop journey home, I wasn’t as sad or sentimental as I expected myself to be. I couldn’t really grasp why for a while. But I am now understanding that it was because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Not because I had not lived my five months there to the fullest, but because my time in Australia was far from over. I would be back, maybe not soon, but someday. So I flew to Bali to start my South East Asia trip with no feeling of having left the land down under. But nineteen flights, six months, five countries, and two continents later, I was getting on my final plane to SFO when it started to dawn on me that I was finally ready to go home. I’ve seen everything I wanted to see and more. I’ve hiked up mountains and I’ve gotten lost. I’ve eaten new foods and I’ve experienced new cultures. I’ve taken in the beauty of the world, and damn, I was exhausted. And while I was sitting there, on the surprisingly very nice Air China flight, I remembered a page from my favorite autobiography of a world traveler that also lived in Australia. Two years ago, on my way home from Thailand, I took a picture to remember the words that I resonated with. Now, I think I connect to them more than ever,

“You go into the world a sponge, and everything blows you away – the first palm tree, the first laundry line strung over desert yellow dust. Now, though, I’ve absorbed too much. I know that Florence won’t have any impact. Zip. I know this because nothing does anymore. Not the Tuileries, not the cathedral at Chartres. They’re admirable and beautiful, but they slide right out of my consciousness and I start wondering what to have for dinner…When traveling stops changing you, it’s time to go home.”

-Wanderlust: A Love Affair with Five Continents, by Elisabeth Eaves

So for now, I think I’ll stay home a while.